Today is the Day

February 19, 2014 by Bob Paris

“When the mystical enters, our surroundings become completely irrelevant. We can be in the busiest city or on the remotest farm, but when it happens, when we turn around and understand that those who use God to condemn us are more lost than we ever thought we could be, when we see that we have more gifts than we ever imagined, then the magic of our lives can truly begin. Let the cynics call us fools, the self-proclaimed saved call us sinners; that’s nothing except fear speaking through the mouths of the scared.

And we must turn our backs on fear. To do that we must, without apology or hesitation, turn our hearts toward love – love of others and more than anything else love for ourselves. The mission is: start now. Take everything you’ve ever been taught about who you are and begin to filter it through your heart. If your heart is hard (and given everything that most outsiders must fight against, who wouldn’t have to fight to keep their heart soft and warm?) begin today to turn it around. Today is the day.”

Bob Paris on OPRAH -- Where Are They Now?

February 18, 2014 by Bob Paris

SAVE THE DATE: This Friday (Feb 21st) I'm on OPRAH again.

She now has a show on OWN called, Where are They Now? The segment picks up from when I was first on the show back in 1989, right after coming out in the media, and then updates to my current life. We taped at our house and around in the nearby woods and on the beaches. I talk candidly about my activist years and the abrupt, simultaneous end of my bodybuilding career and relationship; of isolating myself in the aftermath; and then meeting Brian; his battles with cancer; our move to Canada; getting legally married; my current writing life, and much more. While I haven't yet seen the finished segment -- fingers crossed -- I trust it will be good.

So, please pass the word. Check your local listings, etc. Let me know what you think. And thanks again for all your support!

Cheers and Namaste,

Bob

HOLD by Bob Paris

February 15, 2014 by Bob Paris

Give me one moment

Just one

Where time lingers

For a while

Eyes dancing you say

Which moment

And why

Pray tell

My reply races

The length of my arm

I hold it out

For you to see

Geese cry out above

Bay shimmers

Wind kicks

We smile

TWO by Bob Paris

February 15, 2014 by Bob Paris

Here is a mountain

It rises and calls my name

There beats in me

A river

Does the fork ahead caul

Two minds

One seeking shelter

From driven rain

From hunger

The other

Facing always

Forever

And ever

UNDERSTAND

December 03, 2013 by Bob Paris

When weak, imagine strength;

When down, see yourself up there, shining.

If you are weary, find rest in each breath;

If cast aside, see humanity in the other.

For when we strive for peace, for healing,

For deepest, deepest, deepest;

When we see forever in another,

Then we might understand love.

In This Moment

November 14, 2013 by Bob Paris

I stand here, in this moment of my life and say, thank you. For the good, the bad; the splendid and the messy; for all of it, I give sincere thanks. For how would I measure my life on this plane without a full understanding of complex beauty, of jagged hopes, of dreams leaving the station without me, of dreams fulfilled beyond wildest imagination? Should any of us count our days other than by way of the cauldron? Through the forge of reaching out, of half-understanding, .of hearing words, yet not their meaning. The explosion of love; the murmur of ghosts crossing in the three a.m. hallway. The first cup of strong coffee. The poplar out in the yard, yellowing in autumn. The papery, bent hands of one we love, growing slow and yet holding tight. A smiling face, sharing a story from some forgotten cave. In every moment of your life, seek the place of understanding, of compassion, of peace. Even if it seems impossible, seek love, because beyond all else, love seeks you. Are you ready?

This Time of Year

November 06, 2013 by Bob Paris

This time of year often causes me to take serious and unflinching stock, to make a heartfelt attempt toward seeing (and I mean truly seeing) the long-view of things that are at once as material as lead and mud and flesh, and as ephemeral as breath and cloud and intimate whispers. Perhaps it is the edge of Winter and the approaching Solstice (the darkness before the dawn, so to speak) that lands me in this place. As dusk falls early in this hemisphere, I listen to the rhythms of life as they beat, beat, beat in the cadence of a pulse of someone willing to look truth in the eye; I feel my own fragile heart there in my chest; and I see the fleeting beauty and unremitting oomph of it all, unfolding each day for all of us—all of us, connected here on this tiny rock that twirls and spins in deep, deep space. And all I can do is smile and say thank you. Thank you.

Dream Life ... ?

September 26, 2013 by Bob Paris

I asked myself today if I was living the life of which I had always dreamt. My answer was at once simple and complex (Go figure!). The simple answer is, Yes, yes, yes, a hundred times yes: My present life is all I could have ever wished for and much more – especially as that nihilistic, romantic teenage man-child, projecting himself forward with jagged hope. On the other hand, the complicated aspect of the answer would require chapters. But the complexity can, I suppose, be boiled down to this: The road each of us travels is comprised of topography both smooth and treacherous – and everything in between. In this context, I see the path of my own life as one that makes it’s way up and around a wild, ragged mountain, with hairpin switchbacks, crumbling ledges, startling vistas and gut-clenched, dirt-munched flights of amore and satori. Right now – in this moment – ask yourself: Am I living my life to the fullest? Now, read me plainly. I do not intend this question as a clichéd self-help-ish triviality (Me, I happen to find most self-help nostrums to be simplistic, Pollyanna drivel, doled out by those who could stand to take a bit of their own advice). Rather, this question – today’s question– is aimed at the heart of your own journey, your own unique authenticity, creativity, compassion and true connection to your current experience, to the beating soul of now. Are you traveling your best path, with open heart and eyes?

Authentic Living: The Bookstore Test

July 06, 2013 by Bob Paris

I realize that I place a great deal of emphasis on authentic living. Question is, how is one to discover, hone and follow the true path of their life? I would suggest that it’s essential to identify what gets you up in the morning and excites your mind. It also entails asking yourself some key questions, often in the form of imaginary play-acting.

For example, because I’m passionate about books, I frequently perform what I call the “bookstore test.” It goes like this: Imagine you’ve just entered a vast and comprehensive bookstore. Without giving the matter any conscious thought, which section would you be pulled toward, as if by magnetic force? Me, I’d make an immediate bee-line for the “New Fiction” section and then spend hours reading random pages from dozens of novels and short-story collections. This tells me something vital. Many years ago, playing out the “bookstore test” helped me confirm that it was time to leave the fitness business, to pursue more authentic ambitions. Now, by sharing this example, I’m not trying to diminish my previous work; I’m grateful that I had the opportunity to share my experience with others. It’s more a matter of keeping life elastic, moving and liquid – adjusting course as we evolve and grow.

Have a great weekend.

Bob

An Official Bob Paris Page

June 10, 2013 by Bob Paris

Seek Truth. Strive for Growth.

Embrace Change. Be Authentic.

Thoughts on Jason Collins' Media Coming-Out

May 10, 2013 by Bob Paris

Many of you have sent me messages and emails regarding Jason Collins’ recent media coming out, making him the first male “big four" team athlete to come out in the media while still active in his sport. I must say that I admire the man a great deal.

Occasions like this make me look back at 1989, when I was the first male professional athlete (in any sport) to come out in the media while still competing in my sport—and it feels like it happened on a different planet. I suppose in many ways it did. It was, to say the least, an incredibly challenging time in my life. But there was no other viable path for me. I simply wasn't built for the closet. As I have written many times before, I owe the relative safety of my own journey to the many LGBTQ pioneers who came before me, cutting a trail through a confusing and often dangerous wilderness. With this in mind, it’s heartening to watch the public reaction to Jason’s coming out, much of which has been so positive. This says great things about our culture’s evolution. Yes, there are still many miles to go before we might rest. It will take persistent vigilance to maintain our gains, but demographics indicate that this category of bigotry will fade away into an embarrassing memory. Homophobes are on the wrong side of history and human evolution. Period. And, future generations will shake their heads at how clueless and violently mean-spirited many of their ancestors could be.

I wish you all peace, harmony and continued evolution,

Bob

Official Bob Paris Page

April 02, 2013 by Bob Paris

Seek Truth. Strive for Growth.

Embrace Change. Be Authentic.

Joe Weider's Death

March 27, 2013 by Bob Paris

Several of you have written to ask my feelings regarding Joe Weider’s death this past Saturday.

It’s essential to start by extending my warmest thoughts and prayers to Joe’s wife, Betty (who was always so dear and sweet to me). I know that in her time of grief, she’ll be surrounded by loving family and friends. Also, to those who loved Joe and were close to him, I offer heartfelt condolences. It’s never easy when someone we care for fades from our material lives. Memories may be lucid and powerful, but physical proximity is primal. It may surprise some to learn that Joe and I considered each other friends. And even though ours was a relationship filled with serious ups and downs, it was also a testimony to the ways in which we fragile humans can be like oil and water, can drive each other to absolute distraction and yet, in the end, respect each others’ underlying spirit. That was Joe and me: These two headstrong men, each trying to make his way in an often confounding world, who could argue one day and then sit down to share a meal and a joke the next. I would also suggest to those who mainly saw a darker shade of Joe that there is extraordinary power in the act of approaching the day-to-day humanity of another person with humility and a willingness to forgive and move forward. After all, who among us wouldn’t wish that even our most ardent adversaries might cut us a bit of slack; might see the world through our eyes, if only for a fleeting moment. I am eternally grateful to Joe for giving me -- a shy kid from the sticks, who was using bodybuilding as a tool to battle back nihilism and save his own life -- that first real break. Those were times at once innocent and complicated, and I’m glad Joe and I shared a bit of the road together. Travel easy, Joe. You were one of a kind.

A Defying Gravity Clip

March 25, 2013 by Bob Paris

A fan recently forwarded this clip, compiled from episodes of the 2009 ABC show which was shot in and around Vancouver. I was cast in a season one recurring role that (I was told) would expand in a second season. However, the network pulled the plug after the first season -- to the frustration of the show's many fans around the world. In any event, it was a fantastic -- and confirming -- experience.

As many of you know, I've been a theatre geek since boyhood; and I continued to be passionate about acting well into adulthood. In fact, during my first retirement from bodybuilding (from after the 1985 Mr. Olympia until mid 1988) I studied full-time in the advanced theatre program at the Stella Adler Conservatory; and those two years remain among the best and most fulfilling periods of my life. But when study ended, the real world of 1980s Hollywood had to be faced. Unfortunately, back in the 80s, the road for openly gay 20-ish leading-man types in mainstream TV and film was -- to be blunt -- all but impossible. Actors like me faced a stark choice: Stay in the closet (or in my case, go in to the closet) or spend years beating your head against a brick wall. Thankfully, during these last decades things have begun to change. We see more young mainstream actors deal publicly with their sexuality. For a while it seemed that we might be witnessing a handful of brave exceptions that proved an insidious rule. But the pace of evolution now seems unstoppable. For someone like me, now in my 50s and dedicated to the writer's path (which suits my personality exceptionally well), working on a show like DEFYING GRAVITY was a gratifying confirmation. As I spent time on set, working with all those talented people, I realized something at once profound and healing: In a different era, I could have done this thing and killed it; all that study and dedication to craft had not been for nothing. I acknowledge that each of us is born in a time and a place and a culture. Ultimately, we must deal with life as we find it -- or as it finds us. Sometimes just seeing a bit of what might have been can be enough. I hope that all of us will continue to push the world forward in a positive and evolved direction. Cheers and Namaste, Bob

Spring

March 25, 2013 by Bob Paris

Well, Spring has finally arrived – or at least it has here in coastal British Columbia! And I, for one, can’t wait to shake off those Winter blahs (I tend to spend a lot of the dark and dreary months locked away in my writing room). I’m hungering to get back outside, into the air and the woods and out on the water.

Hope you'll join me in taking life by the horns, each of us pursuing our own unique brand of authenticity, creativity, drive and compassion. Beyond all that, please strive to be kind to each other.

Cheers and Namaste,

Bob

So, What Happened?

November 05, 2012 by Bob Paris

I've recently received several emails asking the same essential question, "What happened to bodybuilding?" Many of these messages refer to the sport itself, with the common upshot being: "What the hell happened to the sport we used to love; why has it grown so thoroughly corrupt and unrecognizable over the past twenty-five or so years?" The other version of this question is directed toward me, as in: "Since you were once a champion, why doesn't your life still revolve around the sport?" First, I'd like to focus on the personal aspects of this.

The shorthand answer is that, when I was still involved in bodybuilding, back before I retired more than twenty years ago, I wasn't ever really what one might call a "lifestyle bodybuilder." In other words, bodybuilding was simply a sport at which I excelled. It wasn't my core identity. In fact, I often found myself (as I wrote in GORILLA SUIT) desperately wishing I could leave the by-product of my hard training (i.e. that massive and generally uncomfortable physique) in the gym, as a baseball player leaves behind his bat, a track athlete her cleats.

Look, I've written this so many times before it's become something of a personal cliché: Back when I was 19 and wholly adrift, bodybuilding saved my life. But not because of the muscles. Rather, bodybuilding saved me because of the discipline, direction and focus it engendered. It provided both a physical and metaphorical path forward.

I've also often written of having combined my athletic and artistic sides as I pursued bodybuilding, but there was a third part to this intertwined structure: A strong, over-riding philosophy, a chunk of which went something like this: Do the work, do it well, and get on with it. So that's what I'd do: Invest my time in the gym with absolute focus and intensity and then let it go, heading off to pursue my real life; one composed of a dozen other wide-ranging interests from theatre to books to backpacking.

It’s this diversity of interests that eventually led me away from a strict focus on hard-core weight training as a central part of my life. Don’t misread that, though. I'm the fittest and healthiest I've ever been; and certainly the happiest and most authentic. I love my intense yoga practice, my cycling, my hikes and trail runs - and yes, my regular, moderate resistance training.

In an ironic way, I have the time spent in bodybuilding to thank for leading me toward this eclectic yet focused path, where exercise is merely one part of a fulfilling life.

One of the initial reasons I was first drawn to bodybuilding was the notion that this was what many of us back then were after: Yes, our efforts in the gym would sculpt the best possible physique. But more than that: We were striving to build a life. A real, well-rounded, amazing life. That was the bodybuilding of Arnold, of Zane, of Reeves.

That was my bodybuilding.

It is exactly this concept that completely evaporated from elite-level bodybuilding twenty-odd years ago, leading me (and many others like me) out of the sport along an inverse, carnival-side-show mirror of the road on which we had entered.

However, I don’t want this post to sound even slightly bitter. I am profoundly grateful for my path—successes, regrets and all. And in this spirit, I find myself obliged to share (once again) the core concepts I learned from my years in bodybuilding; the underlying fundamentals I have taken with me into both my work and personal life:

The patient application of craft;
The beauty of deep inside/out, outside/in personal transformation;
The active search for authenticity;
The development of a balanced approach toward life and work;
A real feeling of focus and dedication;
The profound blending of the athletic with the artistic (and the philosophical).

And, if I had to add one more fundamental into this mix it would have to be:

A willingness to look unmitigated corruption right in the face and speak the unvarnished truth, damn the torpedoes.

So then, to the more general question posed at the top of this piece: Well, I suppose I’ll have to leave that one with the fans of bodybuilding (including the writers and publishers covering it), all of whom I hope will, one day very soon, find the courage to stand up en-mass, turn directly toward those who have run the IFBB Pro Division for the past twenty-five years and finally demand a clear, honest and propaganda-free answer: “What happened to bodybuilding?”

In the meantime, I truly wish you and yours peace, health and happiness,

Bob